Hello, world. I am Chinese President Xi Jinping. How are you feeling today? Not too good? That is understandable. I would certainly understand why you would be feeling ill. After all, China would know more about your ailment than anybody else considering we were the ones that inflicted it upon you. Don't be upset. We have a vaccine and a cure. But we are going to withhold them until we get what we want. You see currently The United States Of America is the world leader and the American Dollar is the global currency. We don't like that. We would prefer the People's Republic Of China to be the world leader and for the Chinese Yuan to be the world currency.

Another thing that bothers us is the way the United States sided with the terrorists-protesters in Hong Kong by calling them "freedom protesters". That was clearly uncalled for and we did not appreciate it. We are a very compassionate country. In fact, we have the largest organ donation program in the world. It gives dissidents and other undesirables peace of mind knowing that they are making valuable contributions to society. We pride ourselves on our human rights record and we stand behind it. Considering all the good we contribute to the world and how much the world would suffer if China did not exist all I can say is: do as we say and nobody gets hurt.